I went to Ikea last night to purchase a table and set of chairs for my new apartment. I thought it'd be nice to grab a plate of meatballs before I hit the aisles. Within 30 minutes I was racing to find a bathroom. Let me just preface the rest of the story by saying that I avoid having to do a number 2 in a public restroom like the plague. It really has to be a dire situation for me to do so. So, back to the story...there I was racing through the different departments trying to find a restroom. Thankfully I found one right before the product warehouse. I did my usual ritual of coating the toilet seat with like 20 strips of toilet paper and then proceeding to have explosive diarrhea while "Here Comes Santa Clause" blasted over the loudspeakers. You know, I don't know how they do things over in Sweden but this is America, Jack. We don't go around servin' up parasite infested sloppy joes, do we?. Hell no. We got rules and regulations that we follow so we can better ensure that the American consumer is protected when he wants to break bed in a public shopping area before spending some dough. He shouldn't be forced to the sidelines so he can poop his brains out while Bing Crosby is blasting over the restroom's loudspeakers. I hope every Ikea executive gets diarrhea next time they buy a Big Mac in Stockholm. How do you like it now, assholes? | الأعراض: إسهال
#moments
#bigmac