Yes, there's a sushi restaurant in Fargo. Yes, I was dumb enough to dine there. First, I got food poisoning one other time in my life in Brazil 1983 from a fried sea urgent and spider monkey pate daiquiri, but that was just crazy Enriqiue and his brothers clowning around on a Peace Corps reunion. I was also pretty sick in Morocco 88' after some suspect curry boiled iguana substuting last minute for some garbanzo beans and chicken livers sautéed in camel blood vinaigrette. I'm rambling. Back to the matter - the second most embarrassing moments if my life - after Bankok 1990. More About that later. Osaka - Fargo - 2015. I ordered avocado Maki. It smelt alright I guess, maybe a little off, but I'm not going to complain - this is from a guy that gained 40 pounds one summer while feasting on disgarded shrimp scampi from a Red Lobster dumpster in Fort Worth. I think that was 93'. Anyways, avocado Maki. After the meal I was snacking on some ginger and suddenly felt a tug on my insides. I made a semi-obvious 'concerned' effort to the restroom and, well, all I can say is I'm absolutely, unequivocally, positive the culprit of my agony was the avocado Maki. The only unearthly and cosmic possibility was the corn chowder from the truck stop or the impossible chance it was my own gumbo recipe I made last weekend as evidenced by some tiny, adorable bits of celery and green bell pepper I detected in the corner of my eye. With hindsight, I don't know why I forgot to flush, I think it wasn't the shock of it all. I cleaned up the best I could, paid my bill, left a $6 tip on a $24 bill and was determined to forget about the whole thing. Great, I lock my keys in the car, so call a locksmith and wait it out on the curb for the guy to show up. My stomach is rumbling again, and I start to panic. Suddenly, a car pulls up and a guy with a suit approaches me with an envelope. He served me. Was this because that stupid 8-year old kid on the swing set in his front yard that I barely 'brushed' with my vehicle after I had like 2, maybe 4-5 drinks at the very most. Why would you put a swing set even near a curb? It was like only 60 feet away. OMG. It takes like one second after I popped the curb to hit the swing set. How safe is that mom & dad? Yeah, nice job. Plus, who's this kid's dad? Toughen up a little. he bounced off the car like 15 feet - 25 max. People do it all the time. It's basically jumping. Part of the swing set broke off and pierced his arm. It went in like two inches. Big deal. It barely fractured the bone. 155 stitches? Yeah, right. Baby stitches maybe. It's like, why buy your kid a swing set that basically explodes when a car grazes it. Why raise a kid to be soft? Why would a doctor put that many stitches in a kid's arm when it probably needed like 50. It's so much drama. Back to the Maki. I opened the envelope and was fairly happy to see it wasn't about the boy. It was my dad suing me for damages to his home, car, and treasured belongings. OMG! Yeah, right! It said I was being sued to return his Navy Cross and Medal of Honor from Iwo Jima? Yeah, Ok dad, you're so awesome. Mr. Awesome has to have his way. Who cares about some stupid medals? It's like s hundred years ago. I gave them to a guy for $20. What's the big deal? Do I get some drinks at the club or stare at some stupid medals in a case? Uh, yeeaaahhh, it's Par-Tay time. He's going to die, like, super soon anyways. Who cares? He's like 90. He doesn't party or have bros or anything. He just like sits there and reads books and writes and stuff. Why dude? What a waste of time. He goes on walks with my mom in the park? Why bro? What a loser. He's so lame. So, I was sitting on the curb and somebody runs out of the restaurant and yells that someone destroyed the bathroom. I didn't say it was me, but I felt bad for the people that had to clean it up. I had nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. My body aches. I'm not feeling so well right now. If you made it this far, as I have, goodbye my friend. Sleep well, and forget me now. _x000D_ | Symptoms: Diarrhea, Nausea, Fever, Vomiting
#avocado #chicken #corn #lobster #pepper #shrimp #sushi #scampi #ginger
