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Ketchup, New York State, USA
April 24, 2021 12:47 AM
New York, United States
My buddy and I had a cookout last weekend (today is Friday and I’m finally well enough to file this report). We made some tasty burgers on the grill - charcoal of course, none of that lame-ass gas grilling here. Anyway, for some reason, probably because of the tequila, I put ketchup on my burger. I should add that the ketchup wasn’t mine because I don’t allow that garbage condiment in my house. My buddy brought it ... and, as I wrote these words, I’m starting to question if he’s really a true friend, after all.
Anywho... so, we grill our burgers and I, like fool, put ketchup on mine. I wanted to seem like a good host and not make my friend feel bad for not using his ketchup. I also put mustard, bacon, onions, lettuce, jalapeño cheese, a schmear of Mayo (not miracle whip because f* that s*t), and a few mushrooms on it, but I always include those. The ketchup was the oddball this time.
About 10 minutes after choking down that ketchup-tainted beef patty, I felt a rumble in my gut and belched a burp that was near near-vomit. I did what I could to keep from puking on the foul taste of ketchup that came up. Soon after, the gas started. It was so bad, the dog was begging to go outside for fresh air. God, it stunk. Like mix of vinegar and semi-fermented corn syrup mixed with rotting tomatoes and s*t. I get like I’d swallowed a cinder block. My mind kept flashing to the ketchup as I let one stinker after the next rip.
I’m not sure when he left, but I the next few hours were a haze. I couldn’t escape the stench and retreated to the bathroom because I knew what was coming. Between the time on the toilet and being curled up on the floor in ball clenching my gut praying for death, the hours passed until the sun came up... on Wednesday.
Dehydrated and with my sphincter in need of medical attention from the ketchup-induced diarrhea, I managed to crawl to the couch and sleep it off for a few days.
I know it was the ketchup. I just know it. The stink of the farts alone was that of stewed corn juice mixed with rotten tomatoes baked a dumpster.
Did ketchup almost kill me?
I think it did because...
KETCHUP IS A GARBAGE CONDIMENT
June 12, 2021 10:48 PM
“Had the garlic parm wings on Monday night 6/7/21. Ended up with real bad stomach and back pains and throwing up in the middle of the night. ”
June 12, 2021 2:27 PM
“There and the standalone store here both caused me to be nautious and puke the food out after eating it alongside a migraine when I finished the food ”
June 12, 2021 1:15 AM
“I am incredibly ill after eating seemingly the healthiest food out there: a salad! I have been vomiting for the past four hours and feel dizzy from the dehydration. The contents of my vomit are the only thing I’ve eaten today- undigested salad. There were no animal products at all in my salad for me... to suspect salmonella. ”
June 10, 2021 11:09 PM
“I got a milkshake at an ice cream truck outside the Museum of Natural History yesterday. Last night I started feeling sick and I woke up today around noon with an aura migraine and severe nausea. I’ve been in the bathroom all day with diarrhea and have thrown up once. I’m lactose intolerant but have... never been sick like this from dairy. ”
June 10, 2021 4:42 PM
“Both myself and my daughter ate the exact same food and have been sick for two days. Steak, mashed potatoes and salad with ranch and spinach and artichoke dip ”
June 10, 2021 9:48 AM
“I Was pooping uncontrollably it was everywhere felt like my a*s was on fire. Started vomiting few hours later stopped when i wrote this review and might come back. Called store no answer ”
June 8, 2021 4:48 PM
“Eating mangoes I ate 2 mangoes 3 days ago and got sick same night. Wasnt sure what caused it and the following day my 2 sons and husband had some and got sick also with my same symptoms and we are all still sick.
I’ve been sick for a few days now after eating some mangoes I ordered there. Vomiting... , nauseous, diarrhea and stomach cramps.
The past few days ”
June 7, 2021 10:31 PM
“chicken tenders I got it for my family and I. My kids didn’t eat the chicken and arent sick. My boyfriend and I ate the chicken and within an hour started feeling nauseous, then vomiting set in. My stomach is extremely bloated with gas and abdominal pain
Two hours ago ”
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June 4, 2021 10:02 AM
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May 18, 2021 12:08 PM
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June 11, 2021 2:50 AM
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